Kumusta ka family!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Wow my first week is done! A couple things first! I miss you all SO MUCH! And I am so grateful for all the cards and letters I got before I came here!
Whew okay so my companion is a sister training leader. Lol she comes up to my chest, literally. LOL the people here are so small!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Everyone calls me malakas cause I'm bigger and taller than everyone else hahahahaha. And my butt really hurts right now because they only have tiny little stools here at the internet shop that we are emailing right now. But okay so the area that I am serving in is Bulan and it is 3 hours away from Legazpi. Lol the little town we live in is San Vicente and I think I've seen regular cars like 3 times? Whoo we're so busy all the time! It's awesome! Especially today on P-Day! My companion calls it Abala day "busy" day haha. Because seriously IT IS. I woke up this morning and started cleaning while my companion washed her clothes. AND THEN when she was finished I did my laundry. And by did I mean I WASHED my clothes BY HAND. Those clothes have never before been so clean. Lol I feel like such a champion and I was so proud when I was finished! It took me maybe an hour or an hour and a half to wash everything. For anybody that is reading this right now, do me a favor and just be grateful that you have a washing machine and all you have to do is transport your clothes from one machine to another. Lol in our apartment we have a toilet BUT it doesn't flush. So we have a big bucket that we keep full of water (for the toilet, and showers) in the bathroom and we pour water down the toilet. Seriously after all the lesson's I've taught this week this is luxury. I have been in huts, with homes that don't have a door, with dirt floors. We have gone out into the country across rice fields, we've taught lessons in little huts, outside. We taught a little old lady yesterday who cried through out the entire lesson outside of her home. Which was a one room shack. I have walked across mud on rice bags and pieces of wood to keep from sinking into the mud. We have a progressing investigator whose nicest room in her home is elevate and is the size of a small bedroom. Her children sleep on cardboard boxes and the crib that her baby sleeps in is made out of cut and carefully places pieces of clothing. Almost all of the people here do not have beds, and they sleep on the ground. Some people don't even have electricity. And for most their home is a humble shack. Yet despite all of this they are happy! Lol I laugh all the time at all of the problems I thought I had before! They can't compare to what any of these people are going through now! Straight up! I am so humbled and so grateful now more than ever for all of the things that my Father in Heaven has given me!
I want to share a quick experience with you that I had today. I don't have much time left but I am going to cram it all in. So this morning after all of our chores when I sat down to have companionship study with my kasama I was very discouraged. Every day after each lesson that we teach I feel SO guilty, and SO useless! Satan has been really getting me in that area of my life. I started to feel more and more like maybe I wasn't the right person to do this. And I wasn't strong enough. And just to clarify it isn't the area, living conditions, or the people that caused this negativity. I love all of that stuff!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It just ME. Well my negative attitude was effecting my overall attitude. And when it was time for companionship study I wasn't very enthusiastic, I was tired and upset and .... basically I had a bad attitude. My companion closed the study early and told me to take a nap. Well because I had pretty much given up in my mind I obeyed and went to sleep. As I was lying there feeling sorry for myself I heard my companion crying. THIS hit me hard! I felt even more guilty! But not because of what I said before! Because I knew I was wrong! And I knew that the feelings that I was allowing to grow inside of me were selfish and indulgent. I let her cry and pretended like I was sleeping. A while later I came out and we had lunch. When we were finished I confronted her and we had an intervention. For both of us. I broke down crying, well pretty much sobbing like a little baby telling her about what I had been struggling with. I know brothers and sisters that Satan was able to get me because I wasn't being faithful, or diligent. Fear and faith cannot abide in the same space, if I am being fearful I am not exercising my faith and if I am not exercising my faith then I am not fulfilling my purpose as a missionary. After this episode of self pity, repentance and release I have made a covenant with my Father in Heaven. I am going to work my hardest every single day, and I am going to be diligent with my language study so that I can steadily progress and increase and strengthen my faith in myself. Because I realize that if I lack the faith in myself that is needed to slowly progress every day then I am wasting my time and more importantly the Lord's time. I do not want to do this. Not even for a second. I know it is only my second week but I am going to set the tone for my mission now. I know I should have done this from the start but evey one learns differently and in their own time. I feel God's love for me more than I have ever before and I am even more grateful for this Gospel!
I have to go now but before I do I have only one request! Instead of praying for me can you all please direct your prayers to the people that we are teaching? People all over the world pray for us missionaries but nobody prays for the people we teach accept for my companion and I. I know that because of your prayers they will be blessed! And I promise you that because of this seemingly small act of service, you will be greatly blessed also!
I love you all!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Love you always!